This is a new chapter in my life---having a 19 yr. old son living with me, after he has been at his Dad's for 2 yrs. Well, I have come to realize, out of 4 children---not one, has lived with me after High School!!! What the hell, was I thinking!!! I guess, you could say I had no choice---he was running wild in Tennessee, I MEAN WILD----20,000 miles on a new truck, in 3 months---don't get your calculator out, that is around 1,700 miles a week, which 17 is my lucky number, which, Thank God, he survived!
He's here---NOW WHAT?? Can I play hard ass--NO!---tell him what to do--NO! Ground him--NO! My only leverage is "The Truck"---he just doesn't know it, YET!!!
Many sleepless nights in the last 4 weeks---WORRY is the word!!! All of you parents know what this is like. Right now, I am letting him make his own decisions, the only thing I have ask, is to let me know, he is OK.
Being a WORRY-WART, I find is nerve racking!!
The weird thing is---he (as in Cutter) doesn't even notice---
Loving Your Kids--I'll take any suggestions--
Shannon
well we did tough love when he didn't follow the rules ie. call us and keep us posted if he was going to be late. repeatedly talked to him about this. also, bad attitude after we enrolled him in boot camp to make him grow up. that was a bad thing. we picked up a different kid. we ended up telling him there is the door. and off he went to his dysfunctional mother in the next town. he is 20 now so that happened when he was 16. he hasn't changed much, maybe a little. GOD willing he pulls out of the attitude and know it all. the attitude has gotten better. he's going to college and in a dorm. but he doesn't want to be here, he goes to his mother's when he is home, there are no rules there. have to say it is nice having our house to ourselves. i love it. as far as nicki goes, i have to put it in GOD's hands. and he does have to get humbled. good luck
ReplyDeleteHey there---
ReplyDeleteIt is so nice to know, that I'am not the only parent, who worries---sometimes, the pitt of my stomach is unbearable! Another thing is, this tough love is tough---saying NO--then they hate you--I just don't remember being like this as a teenager--well, hell no, my parents, would've never stood for all the shit he does! I am just so disappointed, at his behavior. I'am having alot of prayers, that Cutter will see, my point, one day, as a parent...
Hmmm, well I remember shouting at the top of my lungs "I HATE YOU, I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN!" My loving mother's reply, "Right now I'm not feeling so swell about you and I didn't get to pick you." Sort of used to grab my attention. We have had each and every child move back home for a short period as wht I consider adult children. After college graduation to save money for cars, engagement rings, being able to afford to live on their own to name a few of the reasons. We agreed on a few rules. If they were not coming home at night, just a phone call to say they weren't. I didn't need to know what and where, just didnt' want to put a phone call to police to see if they were wrapped around a tree somewhere. If planning on having 'company' at house ck first to make sure we weren't having cmpny too. I always found talking in a public forum like a restaurant where they didn't feel comfortable in being ugly helped. IDK if this helps but it worked for us. And you never ever stop worrying about them now matter how well they are doing or how old you or they are. Just the way it is.
ReplyDeleteHey Anonymous---
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment--always any suggestions are appreciated---
I am a worry wart & always will be---I am now taking each day at a time--Cutter finally got tired of "the rules" & moved out---he is having a hard time/not working/etc--thinking about the Navy--which is a great choice for him right now--hope he follows through with this thought!
Have a wonderful day---
Visit again soon--
Shannon